A Sunday Detour

Geez! I’ve already messed up. I posted on Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) about how I was going to workout again! Then for the next two days,  I fell back into the black hole which is the black swivel chair, in my bedroom, in front of my computer!!

Billy Corgan (lead singer and founder of the band “Smashing Pumpkins”) opened a very unique tea room called Madame Zuzu’s”, where I’ll be doing my first show (of this length anyway) in 30 years, on March 21,.  I’ve been trying to figure all that out.

I did work out Friday afternoon at the gym for just under 2 hours. Oy!! I couldn’t decide if I should do an ice plunge when I got home, or epsom salts, cuz damn! I think nothing short of demerol would have helped.

The last two days, while hobbling around my apartment, I’ve been trying to figure out this show.  When i began singing again, I initially thought I would sing just jazz. But now I want to do pop/rock music of the 70’s and 80’s, some in french, most in english, and jazz.

I don’t want to be “wallpaper”.  But I  couldn’t find the right framework to hang my songs from, (so to speak.)

Tonight I was doing dishes and singing Carole King’s “It’s too late” and I realized,  I can’t think of a guy that song applies to. BUT it  does apply to how I feel about my business of 30 years.

I used to LOVE my business and and my staff and most of my clients. I made 3 course meals for my staff at the office every night. I cooked. They did dishes.  I spent a lot of money, but we all made money. It was like family dinner every night with actors,  singers, writers and even a blogger, (who met his wife because she was a reader who liked his blog! They have two adorable, funny boys now. )

A number of events took place and things change… I’m thinking “The Change” will serve as the framework to hang my songs from.

I’m tired of being afraid!!!  Needing to do or say things “perfectly” is an ADHD thing. It’s a blessing and a curse.  I just need to remind myself that there is No Perfect Way. It doesn’t exist.

If you have any suggestions, I’d love to hear them! I am planning to check in on the exercise thing as well.

Thanks again for reading, commenting, following and liking my blog. I had no idea when I started this,  that there were so many warm, interesting and very cool people that I would come in contact with. Then again, I didn’t understand how it all works. Still learning.