Death of a Dream Pt. 2

when-life-gives-you-lemons_o_299866If you’ve read the post before this one, you know that life handed me a few lemons today. My “recipe” for lemonade is to find the lessons learned and DON’T MAKE THOSE MISTAKES AGAIN!

I’ve been mildly concerned that I stopped working out because I was becoming depressed.  This situation began to feel SOOO much like my passionless marriage. Today I connected the dots.

All this time I was blaming myself, thinking I was doing something wrong.  In my heart, I knew better. But my gut reverted to old behaviors. The reality is, this was NEVER meant to be. PERIOD! END OF DISCUSSION.

The hardest part about this whole thing is, the habit. It’s like feeding your fish every day. then one day you remember that you gave them away. The tank is empty. No water/ergo, no fish to feed. But you still go to the tank every day. I need to train my little brain to stop going to the tank! I can do that.

So what have I learned over the last five years?

1. Tenacity is a great attribute, except in areas of romance… not so great!

2. If I’m going to have a man in my life, he can’t be wishy washy. When it comes to sensitivity, I am quite fragile. But in the face of a challenge,you want me on your team!

3. I I have a great imagination. Sometimes, too great! I have to stop attributing qualities to people, in hopes that they will miraculously appear because I want them to be there. I did it with my ex, with friends etc.

4. Meaningless sex, is just that. Meaningless! (It served a purpose after coming out of celibacy, but that’s over now.)

5. EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON! (See my “Ain’t that a kick in the head” post.)

6. When in doubt, don’t hesitate… ACT!

7. When you question something…JUST ASK!


Published by: JB chants

I was contacted by OkCupid a month after signing up, telling me I was in the top 5% response rate and asking my secret. I was stunned. I was in my 50's! Beats me! It's not as though I posted racy photos or I was plagued by blinding beauty! However it served it's purpose,in terms of finding dates,but finding a mate? Not so much. Along the way, I had some pretty nutty encounters, some more lethal than others. While my blog started as a retelling of these amorous tales, it's morphed into a myriad of stories, including many from my time on the planet. They range from working with the amazing Henry Winkler, auditioning for Nadia Boulanger, an attempted assault by one of Al Capone's retired former henchmen, and offering a homeless man (who was also a convicted murderer) a place to stay for the night. While most of this is older material but I'm considering penning epilogues or postmortems from my post pandemic, post #metoo perspective, as well as sharing more. So many stories to tell! Thanks for stopping by! Cheers!

Categories nanodating12 Comments

12 thoughts on “Death of a Dream Pt. 2”

  1. I’m starting to think my lack of more has to do with lack of available people who draw me in.

      1. That’s what I thought too. But then I had that other thought bubble lol

      2. Lol I’ve gone since February so I hear you. But I just don’t have the time at the moment.

      3. It’s been a year for me. But that’s because of that heavy torch I was carrying. (Re: my post earlier today.) I can’t even imagine what’s next. But in the meantime in a virtuoso at the lady harp.;)

      4. I’d better get some sleep. Today was a disaster of a day and I’ve got a gig tomorrow that I need to prepare for. Nice ti hear from you sharn. Guess I’ll be back on the dating sites. ..ugh! Maybe not. Lol

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