I’ve been mildly concerned that I stopped working out because I was becoming depressed. This situation began to feel SOOO much like my passionless marriage. Today I connected the dots.
All this time I was blaming myself, thinking I was doing something wrong. In my heart, I knew better. But my gut reverted to old behaviors. The reality is, this was NEVER meant to be. PERIOD! END OF DISCUSSION.
The hardest part about this whole thing is, the habit. It’s like feeding your fish every day. then one day you remember that you gave them away. The tank is empty. No water/ergo, no fish to feed. But you still go to the tank every day. I need to train my little brain to stop going to the tank! I can do that.
So what have I learned over the last five years?
1. Tenacity is a great attribute, except in areas of romance… not so great!
2. If I’m going to have a man in my life, he can’t be wishy washy. When it comes to sensitivity, I am quite fragile. But in the face of a challenge,you want me on your team!
3. I I have a great imagination. Sometimes, too great! I have to stop attributing qualities to people, in hopes that they will miraculously appear because I want them to be there. I did it with my ex, with friends etc.
4. Meaningless sex, is just that. Meaningless! (It served a purpose after coming out of celibacy, but that’s over now.)
5. EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON! (See my “Ain’t that a kick in the head” post.)
6. When in doubt, don’t hesitate… ACT!
7. When you question something…JUST ASK!
I WANT MY MOJO BACK!!!!!!!!!