I have a really nasty habit of wearing my heart on my sleeve. IT SUCKS!!!!

I’d love to know.

Therefore, they are constantly seeking approval of others whilst losing their identities in the process.  Frequently they isolate themselves.
A high burden of responsibility and constant approval seeking

Adult children of alcoholics are oversensitive to the needs of others. Their self-esteem comes from others’ judgments of them, thus having the compulsive need to be perfectionists and be

Harsh self-criticism and low self esteem

Adult children of alcoholics are weighed down with a very low sense of self-esteem and respect, no matter how competent they may be.

Denial

Whenever adult children of alcoholics feel threatened, they tend to deny that which provoke their fears.

Difficulties with intimacy

Adult children of alcoholics fear intimacy because it makes them feel that they lost control.  They have difficulties expressing their needs and consequently have problems with their sexuality, and repeat relationship patterns.

Develop a victim mentality

Adult children of alcoholics may either be passive or aggressive victims, and are often attracted to others like them whether in friendships, career and love relationships.

Adopting compulsive behaviour

Adult children of alcoholics may eat compulsively or become workaholics.  They may become addicted and co-dependent in a relationship, or behave compulsively in other ways.

More comfortable living in chaos or drama than in peace.

The tendency to confuse love with pity.

Adult children of alcoholics are often in relationships with people they can rescue.

Abandonment issues

Adult children of alcoholics will do anything to save a relationship, rather than face the pain of abandonment even if the relationship is unhealthy.

Tendency to see everything and everyone in extremes, when

Adult children of alcoholics are frequently depressed. Losses experienced during their childhood were often never grieved for because the alcoholic family doesn’t tolerate intense uncomfortable feelings.

Adult Children of Alcoholics Attracted to Compulsive Personalities

Many lose themselves in their relationship with others and sometimes find themselves attracted to alcoholics or other compulsive personalities – such as workaholics.  They are generally attracted to those who are emotionally unavailable.
Adult children sometimes like to be the “rescuer” and will form relationships with others who need their help, to the extent of neglecting their own needs.

What happens is that they place the focus on the needs of someone else whilst not having to examine their own difficulties and shortcomings.

Often, these adult children will acquire the characteristics of alcoholics, even if they never drink themselves.  They can be in denial, develop poor coping strategies, have an inability to problem solve and form dysfunctional relationships.

Adult Children of Alcoholics and Help