My First Date in 28 Years! He’s 20 Years Younger Than Me…

BTW, while in some cases it might very satisfying to use the screen names of some guys, I’m not that kind of girl. All names have been changed.

Joshua… it was January 1, 2011.  My  office was closed for the holiday. Which was always a great time for me to get caught up on work . I was buried in Excel spreadsheets for hours when I decided to break the monotony by getting onto While in the process of trying to figure it out, I received a wink! Having felt invisible for quite some time ,  I was tickled!

I opened the profile only to discover that the wink came from someone 20 years younger than me! I emailed him immediately and asked if he might have made a mistake. Did he notice our age difference?

While waiting for a response, I took a closer look at his profile. It contained a quiz about him. I don’t want to say anything else out of respect for his anonymity. I was intrigued by this ingenuity .

It wasn’t long before I heard back from him telling me he was fully aware of our age difference but that he found my profile intriguing.  We continued emailed back and forth for four hours! He was working at his office as well .

I found him to be charming , witty , polite and highly intelligent .  He described himself as always being “the third wheel” with his friends. He came from a culture known for producing very high achievers and was something of a workaholic. He was also a bit shy.

I was rather titillated because I really liked his personality . He wanted to call me because the process of emailing back and forth on was arduous to say the least.  But I was too nervous. I gave him my phone number and told him it would be okay to text. (So silly on my part! What was I so afraid of??) It wasn’t long before we were talking on the phone and he asked me to dinner the following night. I accepted.

The next day you would think I was a 14-year-old girl! I had not been on a date since 1983! And Joshua was 20 years younger than me. My son encouraged me to go saying I was very young at heart. I decided wear pink. It was a reflection of my state of mind. But I was a nervous wreck! I put the address in navigation and was grateful to hear the voice of the “navi man” take charge. I only wished he could have asked him for dating advice.

We had a lovely dinner. I brought up the subject of our age difference early on. He quickly put it to rest. So I decided to get to know him, as per his suggestion. He was a perfect gentleman. Beautiful dark eyes, thick shiny black hair, and highly intelligent and sophisticated for any age. He could not have been more charming.

After dinner he walked me to my car and asked if he could kiss me goodnight! I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING! OMG! I shyly looked at the ground, blushing, and said “Okay.” I thought he meant on the cheek and found it very sweet gesture. He took my face in his hands and looked into my eyes, opened his mouth and kissed me passionately.

It was AMAZING! (Did mention I was celibate for 12 years?) Who am I? Here I was in the parking lot of a suburban restaurant being kissed passionately by someone 20 years younger than me. My head was spinning! It was all I could do to control my unbridled enthusiasm. Much like the kiss that woke Sleeping Beauty and Snow White, I  WAS ALSO WIDE AWAKE NOW AND LOVING IT.

We said goodnight and I made my way home, singing at full voice the entire way. I texted thanking him for a great evening. He commented on the memorable kiss. I agreed that it was pretty stellar. The following day he asked me to dinner again , as he was leaving the country on business for at least 3 weeks. I wanted to go. But I begged off because I was busy at work and also felt myself falling far too quickly.

(Observation: When you’ve been married as long as I had, there is a tendency to jump right back into the role of a wife, like Pavlov’s dog suppose. It’s very hard to unlearn at first. But wonderful, once you get the hang of it!)

We saw each other again periodically. Upon his return we texted and talked about getting together. He couldn’t meet that evening because he had a party to attend. It was at that point when I realized, it didn’t matter how well we got along. He was not likely to introduce me to his friends. We had dinner once more and the writing was on the wall. I was busy. He was busy…and 20 years younger! So we went our separate ways…for the time being.

Now if a girlfriend told me this story, I would think “this guy just wants to get laid”. That was never the case with him. I know. Because I later learned that he was a 34-year-old virgin. More about that much later… the operative here being the word “was”. But that’s another story….

Published by: JB chants

I was contacted by OkCupid a month after signing up, telling me I was in the top 5% response rate and asking my secret. I was stunned. I was in my 50's! Beats me! It's not as though I posted racy photos or I was plagued by blinding beauty! However it served it's purpose,in terms of finding dates,but finding a mate? Not so much. Along the way, I had some pretty nutty encounters, some more lethal than others. While my blog started as a retelling of these amorous tales, it's morphed into a myriad of stories, including many from my time on the planet. They range from working with the amazing Henry Winkler, auditioning for Nadia Boulanger, an attempted assault by one of Al Capone's retired former henchmen, and offering a homeless man (who was also a convicted murderer) a place to stay for the night. While most of this is older material but I'm considering penning epilogues or postmortems from my post pandemic, post #metoo perspective, as well as sharing more. So many stories to tell! Thanks for stopping by! Cheers!

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