What To Do With A Used Condom…A Public Service Announcement

condoms and nanotechnologyGentlemen,
I’ll make this as short and as sweet as I possibly can. So please pay attention.

I’m sure you hate wearing condoms. I’m not exactly a fan of them myself. But let’s face it… if you have sex with the wrong person, your arm could fall off!!

Having been an “activist” for the sexual revolution,  and coming out of it unscathed, I refuse to tempt fate until I’m in a committed relationship. (Frankly it’s been a long time since I’ve laid eyes on one used or unused. But that’s another story.)

That being said…

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A USED CONDOM?

Do you throw it against the wall to see if it sticks? No.

Do you stash it under the blankets so your partner discovers she’s got mysterious case of “soggy toes”? No

Do you leave it next to the sink as a reminder of what a great Lothario you are? HELL NO! If you’re that great, believe me, we won’t need a reminder.

How about playing basketball with it, hoping you hit the back wall of the wastebasket only to miss, so that some poor unsuspecting soul steps on it! NO!

JUST FLUSH IT!!! You don’t have to do it immediately. But you must do it!!!

After a tryst one morning, I was making my bed and actually STEPPED ON ONE!! UGH!!  Are you kidding me?

Evidently, in a state of near collapsed euphoria, my partner missed the wastebasket…or so he claimed. Another time (after being with the same guy late one night, the next morning, I stepped on one on my kitchen floor! WTF! How does that even happen?? We weren’t in the kitchen.

Oh… and It’s also a nice touch to have my son stop by to pay me a visit, only to see a filled sack at the top of the wastebasket in the bathroom. He knows mom has had sex a couple times. But what kid wants to see your soggy sack filled evidence of it?? GROSS!! Right? RIGHT!

Some of you may ask why… here are a few reasons…

1. No one wants to look at a little sack filled with your “seedlings”.

2. Depending upon how things went,  we may not want a reminder that you were even in our beds, on our floor, in the kitchen, living room etc. whatever.

3. It’s unsavory and unsanitary

4. Women hate that!

5. We are not your mothers…

6. Flushing gives you  a much better chance of being invited back.

7. I’ve noticed a distinct correlation between the guys who don’t flush and guys who are egocentric douche bags. They tend to be one and the same.

8. NO REALLY!! We are NOT your mothers. Besides, you may unknowingly become a father if some wacko decides to use the contents to fertilize her eggs!

9. In return , we promise not to leave any used tampons around. (It would NEVER occur to me to do anything so unappealing. And now, thankfully, my “tampon days” are lonnngggg gone!)   🙂

10. If you can’t wrap your brain around any of the above, think of it as good manners. Like the charming dinner guest who clears his/her own plate.

This concludes this message.

Thank you.

And Many Thanks to you for Reading, Sharing, Commenting and/or Subscribing!!! You’ve made me very happy!

6 thoughts on “What To Do With A Used Condom…A Public Service Announcement”

    1. Whoa! You’re right! Hadn’t even thought of that one. BTW, you’re a doll for commenting. I have to stop writing on my phone in the middle of the night. I was planning to finish this post today. But I’ve been cooking all day for an Oscars party tonight. I didn’t realize that this posted!

      1. Ooh, Oscars party – exciting! Have fun!

        I know of one woman who actually succeeded in impregnating herself this way – scary stuff 😉

      2. She told him 😉 She wanted him to leave his wife and thought he would if she got pregnant. Needless to say, he didn’t 🙂

      3. That’s some twisted stuff. Poor girl… hope she’s not a mom. That would be rough for the mother and child. I have very little time for married men. If he cheats on his wife…duh!

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