PHUBBING!!!!!! aka Snubbing the One You’re With to Play With Your Phone

no to phubbingThis morning I received a response on my post about texting.  In it there was a link about “phubbing”. I wasn’t sure what that was. The link was in Portuguese. As soon as I saw the picture though, I understood. It reminded me of an online date I had…

I was on OKCUPID when I began corresponding with a jazz pianist who managed to remain single for the 57 years of his life. (Red flag #1??? Sometimes that’s a red flag. Sometimes it’s fantastic! )

He knew I was a fan of Blossom Dearie and evidently, knew her personally.

That was the draw on his part. He also checked out my singing and liked it. I liked his playing as well. Seems like great potential.  Right?

After a few quite lengthy phone chats, we decide to meet at Starbucks. …Cliché, I know. But I’m looking forward to this. He’s an accomplished musician, (played on a grammy winning album) retired, kind of sweet, intelligent and very polite.

I get there only to find out that he is fasting for the high holidays and doesn’t drink coffee or tea and seems annoyed that we are at Starbucks???? Why are we here? He picked the place! Red flag #2. WTF. I suggest we leave as there is nowhere to sit anyway.

Next stop, Panera, three doors down. He gets a bottle of water and I get tea. We are chatting for maybe two minutes when he reaches into his pocket for his phone.

He begins texting. I stop talking. Really??

“Go ahead. I’m listening.”

I let it slide momentarily. But cut my answer to his query, short.

I ask him about his music and whether he still plays. He begins to answer when he gets another text, which he responds to eagerly.

Are you kidding me? This is somewhat unparalleled for me.

He finishes texting and throws out another question. I began to answer it when he received yet another text message. When he reads this one he giggles.

Physical attractiveness in a man is not a prerequisite for me.  Admittedly, I’m not likely to be with someone whose face could stop a clock . Let’s just say that if you were running by his clock,  you might be a few minutes late. But that didn’t matter to me. ..until now.

He is now frantically texting and trying to talk at the same time. He was also a little ticky. His eyes seem to almost be rolling into the back of his head when he laughs. (Now I’m really turned on.)

“I’m sorry. I must be keeping you”. Sarcasm isn’t usually my style.

“Oh no. You’re fine! I do have to leave shortly as I have that meeting I told you about.”

“Well, it was nice meeting you.” I get up to leave and he doesn’t even stand to say goodbye.

Five minutes later I get a text from Mad Max.

Max: I really enjoyed meeting you. Are you free this Saturday night?

Me: You’re kidding. Right?

Max: No. I think you’re lovely. I thought we got along well.

Me: You’re a funny guy. 🙂

Max: I don’t understand. Didn’t you like me?

I couldn’t respond. It’s illegal to text and drive.

I decided that if that ever happens again, I’m not giving any rope.  (Particularly when there is no apology or reason given for the phubbing.) Like, “I’m sorry. But I just won the lottery!BeFunky_Money-raining-from-the-sky.jpg Or the Chicago Cubs just won the Worlds Series! BeFunky_CURSED CUBS WIN jpg

Or my divorce is final!)BeFunky_chrsi rock my divorce is final.jpgIn the future, if on a first date, the guy turns out to be a phubber, (and assuming he’s not a 10 year old) I suggest the following course of action.

1. Don’t say a word.

2. Stand up.

3. Walk away.

4. Don’t look back.

5. Keep walking.

6. Now…Thank God. Cuz you probably dodged a bullet.

power ranger

Published by: JB chants

I was contacted by OkCupid a month after signing up, telling me I was in the top 5% response rate and asking my secret. I was stunned. I was in my 50's! Beats me! It's not as though I posted racy photos or I was plagued by blinding beauty! However it served it's purpose,in terms of finding dates,but finding a mate? Not so much. Along the way, I had some pretty nutty encounters, some more lethal than others. While my blog started as a retelling of these amorous tales, it's morphed into a myriad of stories, including many from my time on the planet. They range from working with the amazing Henry Winkler, auditioning for Nadia Boulanger, an attempted assault by one of Al Capone's retired former henchmen, and offering a homeless man (who was also a convicted murderer) a place to stay for the night. While most of this is older material but I'm considering penning epilogues or postmortems from my post pandemic, post #metoo perspective, as well as sharing more. So many stories to tell! Thanks for stopping by! Cheers!

Categories CELL PHONE ETIQUETTE, No texting, online dating, phubbing, TextingTags, , , 3 Comments

3 thoughts on “PHUBBING!!!!!! aka Snubbing the One You’re With to Play With Your Phone”

      1. Eheheh! 😀
        No problem. 😉
        And i saw that i comment your post with another way, so, i received your answer by e-mail too. 🙂

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