THE “KELVINATOR”… My Dream Date!

I LOVE THIS!  Evidently the online dating scammers aren’t getting paid enough these days. Check this out.

(I wonder if he meant Kevin. Anyway…)

KELVIN: Hello… Pretty…like your smile… I’m Kelvin. And you are…

OK. Seems somewhat plausible. Right?

Except, here is my ONLY online dating profile pic.


I may be older, but I’m not THAT OLD!!! The artist Seignac, died in 1924!

I’ve been meaning to write a piece about my experience with a scammer but it’s kind of a drag to revisit that one.  It’s quite a story.

In the event I never get around to it, I’m posting this clowns “profile” for those girls new to online dating.

NOTE: If it sounds to good to be true, it is too good to be true!

his self-summary… (BTW although he left it out, when they say they love to shop, that’s another tip off.)

Do you know any guy who would write a profile like this?  Probably not. They are no doubt, written by women to attract women for men who are scammers.


I have been very lucky in my life to have been born into a loving and supportive family. I have also been fortunate in making friends with some exciting and intellectually stimulating people. I think that my friends and family would say they enjoy my company for my humor, generosity and compassion. In my free time, I enjoy most types of music, as well as theater, film, golf, and working out. I especially enjoy travel to places that I have not been to before, where I can participate in activities and dining experiences that I have not previously tried.
I am interested in a long-term relationship. My ideal mate has high self-esteem. She loves her life and values the experiences that she has had, and seeks an intelligent and enthusiastic companion to share life’s adventures. She also has a good sense of balance to her life. She works hard, but also leaves time for herself to work out and enjoy her own pursuits outside of the workplace. She’s honest, intelligent, energetic and has a good sense of humor.


Published by: JB chants

I was contacted by OkCupid a month after signing up, telling me I was in the top 5% response rate and asking my secret. I was stunned. I was in my 50's! Beats me! It's not as though I posted racy photos or I was plagued by blinding beauty! However it served it's purpose,in terms of finding dates,but finding a mate? Not so much. Along the way, I had some pretty nutty encounters, some more lethal than others. While my blog started as a retelling of these amorous tales, it's morphed into a myriad of stories, including many from my time on the planet. They range from working with the amazing Henry Winkler, auditioning for Nadia Boulanger, an attempted assault by one of Al Capone's retired former henchmen, and offering a homeless man (who was also a convicted murderer) a place to stay for the night. While most of this is older material but I'm considering penning epilogues or postmortems from my post pandemic, post #metoo perspective, as well as sharing more. So many stories to tell! Thanks for stopping by! Cheers!

Categories nanodating, online dating, online dating scamsTags51 Comments

51 thoughts on “THE “KELVINATOR”… My Dream Date!”

  1. Yeah, that’s a profile I’d write about the kind of guy I want – not the kind of profile a guy would write! I liked Smithson’s approach – a half-naked picture goes a long way 😉

      1. It is now 😉 He’s constantly on at me to buy one haha! And I will – but I think I’ll buy the actual book – and write a review… 🙂 Hold on, I’ll find a link for you!

      2. Great! Thanks. I had planned to buy it in hard copy, but I SO prefer reading on my phone. That way, if I put myself stuck waiting for something somewhere I can whip it out. Lol

      3. That’s what he said 😉 (He’d so enjoy this conversation by the way!!)
        Can’t imagine enjoying reading anything on my phone!

      4. I don’t think I’ve ever agreed with you more – and I agree with you on most things 😉
        Damn, I’ve got a Smithson horn now 😉

      5. Ha ha! I’ve got a prologue – and a chapter on women 😉 But I wrote those around 3 months ago then lost steam – might get back into it – need to do it before I leave as I don’t think I’ll even want to think about it after I go!

      6. Since you are light years ahead of me in blogging, I’ve gotta question for you… My said “people can’t follow or like you if they don’t have a wordpress account.” Is that true?

      7. I don’t think that’s true. People have followed me with just an email address. So I’m sure they can like as well. They might have more limited options in replying to comments though – like they can reply to my comment but not to other people in the thread. At least I think that’s right!

      8. Do you have an email Sign up on all your posts? I get your stuff in my reader and just pop it open when I get it on my phone. I did learn that my phone doesn’t get updates as often as my pc. I’ve been told by a number of people that they read all my stuff but don’t follow me. 😦

      9. Hmm, no, I don’t think I do 😉 To be honest, I’m a bit clueless when it comes to this stuff! I post it on FB and Twitter and then just let it do its stuff 🙂 I don’t remember setting it up if I do!

      10. Well you’re stuff is a riot! I’m definitely a fan. I don’t have much of a presence on Facebook or Twitter. Not my cup of tea I guess. My son is still trying to teach me how to effectively use Twitter. 😉

      11. Ugh, I hate it. By the time I’ve posted my one message 571 new messages have appeared. How anyone can keep up with it is beyond me 😉

      12. Yeah, it’s not for me 🙂 FB I can handle – apart from when weirdos contact ‘me’ instead of ‘blog me’ 😉 BLOCK 🙂

      13. Ditto! You really did flash into my head one night finding some guy in Germany. It was so random! Perhaps it was subliminal. In Chicago and the states in general, there are gazillion of Irish married to Germans. I’m Chicago, the history behind it is, they both liked to drink in Sundays after mass. So when the city wanted to close bars and pubs on sundays they joined forces to fight it. 🙂

      14. Ha ha! Brilliant! 🙂 Yeah, the Irish – well, the men traditionally – always liked a drink after church. It was how the women got them there in the first place 🙂

      15. I wish analytics were more like google’s analytics. It’s one of the reasons I want to come out, then I’d link it to my website to get analytics.

      16. Ana… hmm. Sometimes it’s like you’re speaking a different language 😉 I think you’re better at this stuff than you think!

      17. I don’t think I can read e-books on a laptop (maybe I can but I don’t really want to) 😉 So the paper version it is for me – once I recover financially from Berlin!

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